And here we have a drabble for Nicole who wanted an escort Klaus. It’ll be more than one drabble and I’d venture to say this part is a bit boring but it’ll get more exciting in part two - assuming I ever get around to writing it.
For Klaus Mikaelson, sex had always been both a pleasure and a tool. It wasn’t arrogance that made him aware of his own immense sex appeal – it was just a fact of his life. In his teenage years Klaus had learned to wield that sex appeal and his own inherent charisma to his best advantage, and in his adult years he made sex his profession. The word gigolo had always sounded rather crass to Klaus and he preferred to be called a male escort. Not that the semantics truly mattered – the way Klaus saw it he was a merchant of carnal pleasures. And the job suited him well. He, of course, couldn’t speak to others in his profession or why they chose it but for Klaus the job could be quite enjoyable. He loved sex. He loved women. He loved bringing them pleasure. He loved when a woman’s body went pliant against his. He loved the sounds each woman made – some primal criers, some soft moaners. He loved the moment when they climaxed, erupting in front of him in the most carnal way.
And so it turned out the world’s oldest profession suited Klaus just fine. It made the notion of relationships a bit untenable but a relationship wasn’t something Klaus had ever been interested in anyway.
make me choose » anonymous asked Klaroline or
Klaus and Caroline do not stop think about each other.
Same here. Honestly what’s so frustrating about the shows is how easily fixable they are and the fact that JP is just so reluctant to make any decent changes. If I were hired for season 3 I’d wrap up the baby story line for good and let it be forgotten within the narrative completely. In my dreams I’d love to kill of Hayley and the baby, but I think a story line like that deviates too easily into martyrdom and would kind of put Klaus in a position where he’d need to play the avenging hero, so I’d probably just send Hayley and Nope off into the sunset to live out their lives. Honestly fixing the baby issue is the only major issue in my opinion, and obviously if I had been in a position to make the choice I’d have never included it in the first place, but seeing as what’s done is done I think I’d probably pull a Connor and have Klaus compel Hayley to forget him and all of the NOLA drama and to just go off and raise the baby herself in a safe place away from Klaus. Honestly I hate stuff like that and it’s such a cop out, but at this point I think it’s the cleanest way to actually put the baby story line to rest. Of course I’d add Kol as a series regular, I’d also increase Davina’s role and decrease Cami’s, as well as giving her a story line separate from Klaus and Marcel. And I’d make Caroline the female lead of the show but I wouldn’t have her be Klaus’ LI either. I’d have them be on friendly terms but I’d prefer to have them on opposing sides of the fence, either have Caroline lead/ally herself with a group that doesn’t follow Klaus or just have her be against the supernatural war thing completely. I’d also include as many flashbacks as possible and try to give each Mikaelson at least their own mini story arc every season, and I’d love to see flashbacks from the perspectives of each Original and hopefully have those flashback arcs relate to the contemporary story line as well. I mean, there’s a million little things I’d change, but these are the fundamental major moves I’d make in order to improve TO.
That’s what kills me about all of it too. It’s literally so easy to fix, and clean up, but JP just refuses to freaking do it. Which is going to end up costing her in the long run.
Ugh, okay, I’m sorry but I need to rant about this because it drives me up a freaking wall. This is the exact reason why JP is such a shitty ass TV writer. Because she has absolutely no clue how the audience is going to read her work and doesn’t seem to understand the absolute most rudimentary elements of narrative structure. First of all, just no. The Klaroline closure stuff doesn’t work for a lot of reasons, but one of the dumbest mistakes that JP made was simply doing shit in the wrong order. If she had done the Klaroline sex scene and then followed it up with a promise to leave and never come back then it would have been weak as hell but at least it would have gotten across what she meant to get across. Hell, if they had just had a one line goodbye scene where Caroline just said to Klaus “I guess I’ll see you in a few lifetimes” then it would have read as a goodbye scene. But no. They wrote the promise scene, followed by the hours of sex implication, followed by absolutely fuck all else. And that is why it didn’t work as a closure scene, because it did not end on closure. Oh and hey, remember how Caroline’s story line for the next six episodes was completely centered around her conflicted feelings about what happened with Klaus? Well that happened because A. there are at least a few writers on TVD who aren’t total fuckwits and B. because what happened in 5x11 simply wasn’t closure. If it had been closure then none of that Caroline stuff would have happened because 5x11 would have ended whatever conflict was left with the Klaroline story line (and fyi it was sloppy as fuck for the TO writers to completely ignore 5x11’s effect on Klaus, not to mention it robbed him of a really fantastic character development opportunity).
But even putting all of that aside, 5x11 as closure would have been absolutely terrible and nonsensical closure regardless. A really great general rule to follow when it comes to TV writing (which is a rule that JP almost never follows ever) is that the conclusion needs to match the buildup, the result of a certain story arc needs to adequately satisfy or subvert the audience’s expectations in order to be successful. When it comes to Klaroline JP has done neither. I mean, Klaroline had two years of development as a story line and then got an “ending” that simply was not an ending or anything even close to an ending. And this is something that JP does constantly. I mean take the baby story line for example. That story line got over a year of buildup and went on for longer than an actual human pregnancy, which ultimately resulted in a “climax” that lasted about 4 minutes total and can’t really be considered a climax at all (I mean literally the only moment where the baby was threatened was when Monique was about to stab her which literally lasted a few seconds). And then the story arc is not only given no resolution, the baby is actually sent away which essentially guarantees it won’t be resolved, and the general story line is left in the exact same state it’s been in for the entire season anyway. Compare that to something like the conclusion of the baby story line on AtS. That story line was ended with Connor being abducted and taken to the worst hell dimension in existence that Angel can’t access at all. That climax completely subverted the expectations of the audience in a way that matched the buildup of the story line, and it sent Angel’s story arc as a character as well as the story arc for the series in a completely different direction. And that is why JP’s story lines fail so consistently.
And what’s so tragic about this situation is that TVD under Kevin Williamson’s management not only managed to subvert or satisfy the audience’s expectations for certain story lines, often times it managed to do both at the same time. For instance take the Delena climax in the season 1 finale. I am far from a Delena shipper, but I appreciate how well this was executed as a narrative high point. I mean, after a season of tension building Damon and Elena finally have their first kiss towards the end of the episode, which completely satisfies the expectations of the audience without going overboard (which a lot of people think JP did with Klaroline in 5x11). But only a few moments later they reveal that Elena is in fact Katherine, which completely subverts the audience’s expectations but gives a fantastic payoff for not only the shock factor, but because the show spent an entire season building a mythology around Katherine and the Salvatores, a mythology that has suddenly landed in the cotemporary story line and in the lap of the viewing audience. Or another great example is the whole Klaus/moonstone drama. There was an enormous amount of buildup for this sun and moon curse and who was going to break it, and then all of a sudden our expectations are subverted when we discover that it’s in fact a curse on Klaus and he’s planning on making an army of hybrids, but then our expectations are satisfied when Klaus breaks the curse as well. Unfortunately for us JP seems to only be capable of ending her story lines in a ten minute time frame that usually involves the characters basically directly stating that the story line is over, but in the case of Klaroline she can’t even do that right. But no matter what way you cut it, her feeble attempt to end Klaroline just did not make any sense narratively, and given the way that she handled everything it’s not at all surprising that most of the audience read 5x11 as a “to be continued” instead of as a closure point.
Ehh, I have to say I disagree. I get questions like that very often. None of the questions are like that ridiculous question where the person claimed that our tag was dying, and the KH one was thriving. That was a troll message, the ones I just answered, were not.
and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside
in your eyes the light the heat
in your eyes I am complete
in your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches in your eyes
Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes